


'Where am I?'

by caitisaddicted



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 11:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7713436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitisaddicted/pseuds/caitisaddicted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wakes up in a beautiful field, full of grass and flowers, but he has no idea where he is or why he is here. He goes to look for answers, but it takes an unexpected turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Where am I?'

_Where am I?_ Cas thought. He looked around and saw a bright place. It was covered in flowers: roses, lilies, hydrangeas and daisies. It was beautiful… breathtakingly beautiful. Cas loved it; he sat down on the field full of grass and immediately felt relaxed. He hadn’t been this relaxed in a very long time. But that was ruined very quickly, because suddenly Cas heard Dean’s voice very clearly: **_‘Cas, come on dude!’_**

Cas looked around, searching for the source of the noise, but couldn’t find it. He stood up and walked around to see where he had come from. He walked along a gravel path, surrounded by a forest. Whilst walking along this path, he noticed many different animals. Cas had always been one to love animals, so he squatted down to extend his hand towards a small rabbit that was hopping by. The rabbit slowly walked towards Cas and sniffed his hand. Cas smiled and slowly got up, making sure not to scare the little rodent. When he saw Dean again, he would surely tell him that the animals loved him! **_‘Get back here, dude!’_**

Cas looked around again, but the noise was nowhere to be found. _Why was that Dean’s voice? He isn’t here!_ Cas was starting to worry. Why would he hear Dean’s voice if Dean wasn’t here? Speaking of which: why wasn’t Dean here? Dean was always at Cas’ side. He walked further along the path, but still couldn’t find out where he was. As far as he knew he didn’t know a place like this. Unless… could it be? Could it be Heaven? It had been so long since Cas had been here. In fact, the last time he had been here was when he fell – and some other angels – fell. His most beautiful memories were made here – that is, if the ones with Dean didn’t count. In fact, his deepest desire was being here, with all of his brothers and sisters. He was really happy to be here; maybe he could even see Gabriel! He walked further along the road, but was interrupted again: **_‘Cas, come back man!’_**

He still didn’t know why Dean’s voice was stalking him, but he decided to just follow the path and go wherever it led him. He walked a bit further and suddenly heard the flapping of wings. He looked behind him and he saw Balthazar! He immediately threw his arms around his brother, who returned the hug excitedly. After two minutes of standing in his brother’s embrace, Cas pulled away. He looked up at Balthazar, for his brother had always been a little bit longer than he was. He smiled at his brother, happy to finally see him again – it had been way to long - and Balthazar smiled back at Castiel. Balthazar looked great, better than the last time Cas had seen him. Speaking of the last time… When was that? For as far as he could remember, he… he had killed Balthazar. _I’ve killed my own brother!_ Cas thought, panicking at this thought. He watched Balthazar and took in every small detail about his brother. His posture was slightly slouched, but he still looked confident and comfortable in his own skin – well, of course it actually was his vessel’s skin. Balthazar’s eyes were blue, but not as blue as Cas’ eyes. Balthazar’s eyes were a bit more of a grey blue, whereas Cas’ eyes were as blue as the summer sky. Cas finally spoke: ‘Balthazar! How can you be here? I… I thought you were dead!’

Balthazar flashed a grin and replied: ‘Well, little brother, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?’

Cas could notice from the tone in Balthazar’s voice that he was only kidding, but wanted to make sure that Balthazar didn’t think he wanted him dead, so he reacted by shaking his head. Then he asked if maybe Balthazar knew where they were. Balthazar replied that they were indeed in Heaven, but he didn’t know whose Heaven it was. Cas had a little idea about the owner of this Heaven… Maybe it was his own? Since he wasn’t an angel anymore, he could’ve died… **‘Cas, give a sign, man!’**

It was Dean’s voice again. But though he wondered why he could hear Dean’s voice in Heaven, the more important question was: why wasn’t Dean here with him? Dean did belong in his happy place. Balthazar gave Cas a little push with his elbow and startled him out of his thoughts.

‘Shall we go, little brother?’ Balthazar asked. _Where are we going?_ Cas thought. But Balthazar had already grabbed his arm and was pulling Cas forward. They continued walking further along the gravely road, though Cas still didn’t know where they were going. He wanted to find out why he was in Heaven and why he heard Dean’s voice everywhere. He proposed his idea to Balthazar: ‘I want to find out why I am here and why I hear Dean’s voice everywhere. Maybe we can follow this road until we arrive in the Main Heaven?’

He saw Balthazar smirking and asked for the reason behind it. Balthazar just replied ‘Cassie is in loooove! He’s hearing his lover’s voice eeeeverywheeeere!’ in a teasing tone.

Cas could feel his cheeks get hot and he quickly hid his face by pretending to sneeze. He then quickly walked away. He heard Balthazar’s loud laugh behind him, causing him to step up his pace. He didn’t want Balthazar to see his tomato-red face, what if he got the wrong ideas? **‘Cas, please answer!’**

Cas turned around to see if Balthazar heard it too. Balthazar was still laughing – rather loudly – and he didn’t seem to have heard anything. So Cas was the only one hearing Dean’s voice… Maybe it had a special meaning? _No. Focus, Cas._ Cas thought to himself. He walked back to Balthazar and they started to follow the road again. Cas had the idea that they were getting closer to the Main Heaven, but he didn’t know how he noticed. He suddenly felt a tingling sensation in his stomach. The feeling humans get when they’re in love – that was a surprisingly accurate description – it felt like a million butterflies flying through his stomach. He thought about Dean. When Sam was in love once, he told Cas and Dean about the butterflies in his stomach, to which Dean immediately dead panned his face and replied ‘You have to digest them.’

Cas smiled at the memory.

**‘Dude! Get your ass back here!’**

Cas laughed out loud at Dean’s anger. Balthazar looked at him questioning and raised one eyebrow at Cas, like he was trying to ask why Cas laughed, but he was too lazy to ask about it. Cas noticed that there was a stone brick in the middle of the gravel path. He knew that he had to find something that wasn’t supposed to be there in order to find the Main Heaven and he figured this was it. He told Balthazar this and he agreed with Cas. They stepped on the stone brick at the same time and a white light shone out of the recently opened door. Cas pulled on the door handle to open it and after it was widely open, they stepped through it. They found themselves in a very bright, white hall with more than two hundred doors. A few words were written on every door. Cas looked back at his own door and was surprised to find this written on it:

**‘Castiel Winchester:**

**Date of birth: the second day**

**Date of death: - ’**

His breath faltered. _Castiel Winchester? When did that happen? And why did it happen? Maybe Sam en Dean had decided that I needed a last name… And why isn’t there a date of death? Maybe they hadn’t had the time to change it yet? From my time in Heaven I know that it could take a while, but there would also be a sticker on the door…_

He turned back to Balthazar and looked at him with the question written in his eyes. It seemed that Balthazar was still an angel. Cas could sometimes feel the slight breeze of wings. If Balthazar was still an angel, maybe he could give some insight in this weird day. Balthazar turned back too and answered to Cas’ unspoken question: ‘I don’t know, Cas… This may sound weird, but… I don’t think you’re dead… There’s nothing about you on angel radio and if one of our brothers died, we would’ve heard about it. I think you’re still alive, but then… why are you here?’

Cas’ eyes widened and for a second, he forgot how to breathe. His eyes started to turn watery, because he was getting desperate. Balthazar noticed it and he wanted to pull Cas into an embrace, but right at that moment, Balthazar and Cas heard the flutter of wings. They turned around at the same time and there he was, right before them. _I can’t believe my own eyes._ Cas thought. He ran forward and jumped into Gabriel’s arms, the person who had just flown here, Cas’ long lost – and probably favorite - brother. He embraced Gabriel with such a power that said angel couldn’t breath anymore. Gabriel laughed and gently pushed Cas away. Cas was really crying now, but it weren’t tears of sadness. This time, it were tears of joy. Gabriel smiled at his little brother and he wiped Cas’ tears away.

‘Howdy, little brother! I think you should hurry, you only have an hour left and – no hard feelings, but – you look miserable.’

This was when Cas noticed the tuxedo Gabriel was wearing. _Why was his brother wearing a tux? That wasn’t anything Gabriel would wear…_ He looked at Balthazar, but only to find the same look of astonishment on his face. Cas was a bit scared of what Gabriel was going to say, but he really had to know what this was all about, so he asked. ‘What do you mean, Gabriel? Why are you wearing a tux? Why do I have to hurry? Where are we going?’

Gabriel burst out in laughter and replied: ‘Haha, funny joke Cas! Now, come on. As your best man, I have to make sure that you’re on time and that you look fabulous.’

Cas’ jaw dropped to the ground, his eyes widened and grew with the size of saucepans. But right at this moment, Dean’s voice rang again: **_‘Cas, you son of a bitch, get back!’_**

Cas was extremely confused right now, but he did manage to mutter ‘Assbutt...’ under his breath. Gabriel then grabbed his arm and told Balthazar to come with them. Cas wanted to struggle, but Gabriel was stronger than he was, so there really wasn’t a point. Gabe opened the door with the number ‘67’ written on it and pushed Cas through it. Cas looked around and took in every small detail of the room. It wasn’t big, but there was enough space for a mirror, a small couch, a mannequin and three people. Balthazar and Gabriel walked through the door right behind him and the three of them got to the middle of the room. Cas looked around a second time and noticed the beautiful, blue suit on the mannequin. It seemed about his size. Beneath it, he saw a shirt, white as snow, without a single stain. After that, he set his eyes on a tie, which was hanging next to it. It was a striped tie, with blue and black. The blue was as blue as the deepest ocean and it complemented Cas’ eyes perfectly. The black was as black as the night sky and Cas thought it was beautiful. In the pocket of the suit, Cas saw a red rose, with petals that perfectly framed the middle of the flower. Cas was startled out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and it was Gabriel. Gabe told Cas to get dressed and Cas was too scared to ask whom he was going to marry so he obediently did so. He felt the soft satin of the suit on his skin. The suit fit him as if it were made for him – perhaps it was – and he felt amazing in it. Once he got dressed, he turned to look in the mirror and his breath faltered on the way out. He looked breathtaking, the suit framed his posture perfectly and the red rose stood out. He got pulled out of his thoughts again, but not by Gabe. It was Dean: **_‘Cas, dude! You have to be here! I need you!’_**

Cas ignored it. He had decided to go to the wedding – even though he still didn’t know whom he was going to marry… - and maybe he could find out why he was still in Heaven. Gabriel grabbed something from the drawer – it was labeled hair gel – and he started putting it in Cas’ hair. After ten minutes he was finally done, and – Cas had to admit that – his hair looked really nice. Gabe nodded satisfied, he was proud of his work. He then looked to the clock and was startled. It was already 14:30! Gabriel started grabbing his stuff and told Cas and Balthazar to do the same. They obediently did so and after five minutes, the three of them had all of the stuff they needed. Gabe told them that the wedding was at 3 o’ clock, so they had to hurry. He then told Balthazar to zap to – Cas didn’t recognize the name – and Balthazar poofed away. Gabe then tapped Cas’ head with his fingers – Cas didn’t have angel powers anymore, so he couldn’t zap himself – and then Cas felt it. He hadn’t felt the feeling of zapping before – you couldn’t feel it as an angel – and the feeling was horrible. He felt like something was pulling on him and it made him nauseous. The feeling finally stopped. Cas fell down on a field of grass. He looked around and recognized it; it was the same field where he woke up. He saw a thin line of white carpet… It looked like it was the aisle. It led to the forest and probably to another open place in it. There were pillars with red roses on either side of the aisle. Cas started to walk towards it, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned around and he saw Gabe, standing next to… ‘Dad?’ Cas asked. Chuck smiled and offered his arm. ‘Come, son, it is time for us to go.’ Cas took his father’s arm and they walked together along the white carpet. Gabe walked behind them, a smile playing on his face. After five minutes of walking, Chuck stopped, gesturing for Cas and Gabriel to stop too. They were now standing in front of a white curtain. It hung from the trees and it reached all the way to the ground. Next to it, Cas saw two huge bouquets with red and white roses. He felt butterflies in his stomach again. Chuck softly squeezed Cas’ arm and counted down from three. When he reached zero, the curtains flew open and an amazing scenery spread out in front of Cas’ eyes. Everything was beautiful, but Cas’ eyes immediately fell on his soon-to-be-husband.

 

 

It was Dean.

 

Cas’ heart skipped a beat, because Dean looked perfect. Dean’s suit fit him perfectly and his muscles stood out. His eyes were greener than ever, they reminded Cas of the field of grass where he was just standing. Dean had a red rose in his pocket, just as Cas did.

Cas now noticed that his eyes were overflowing with tears – tears of joy, of course – and quickly wiped them away. Chuck nudged Cas with his elbow and they walked further along the aisle. Cas now noticed Sam standing behind Dean; he probably was Dean’s best man. Gabriel had also taken his spot as best man. Chuck had now led Cas to the altar and he let Cas go. Cas glanced at his father another time and he saw the happiness in Chuck’s eyes. Cas took his spot in front of Dean and he gently took Dean’s hands. They were firm as always. He looked up to Dean and was blown away by the overwhelming green of Dean’s eyes. Dean’s eyes were overflowing with love – maybe it were tears- and Cas’ eyes reflected this.

Charlie’s voice rang through the area: ‘Hi, everybody, we’ve gathered here today for the marriage of Dean Winchester and Castiel Winchester. With the vows the two of them will make promises to each other.’

Cas started to worry, he hadn’t even thought about his vows! He’d have to make something up then… Now that he thought about it, he could do this. He did love Dean with all his heart, even though he never admitted it. Cas startled out of his thoughts, because Dean started to speak:

‘I, Dean Winchester, promise to always and forever love and cherish you, Castiel Winchester. I promise to always be true to you and to always help you. I promise to always stand by your side, in good and bad times. I promise to always be your best friend, to laugh with you, to inspire you, to protect you and to encourage you. I promise to be there with you in all our adventures. I love you, Castiel Winchester, and I always will.’

Cas felt his tears rolling down his cheeks, because Dean’s vows were so beautiful. He smiled at Dean and mouthed a silent ‘Thank you.’ He realized that it was now his turn to exchange his vows with Dean. He was sure he could do it.

‘I, Castiel Winchester, promise to take you, Dean Winchester, as my husband. I promise to be your lover, friend and partner. I promise to always believe in you, to help you become who you want to be. I promise to stay with you through all the rough times, but also through the good ones. I will always be your greatest fan and will always walk with you. I love you – so much – Dean Winchester and I will never stop doing so.’

Cas looked up at Dean and he saw tears rolling down his cheeks too. Dean smiled at Cas and Cas smiled back at Dean.

Charlie coughed and Sam and Gabriel walked down the carpet. They were carrying a small pillow with two rings on it. When they got to the altar they stood in front of Dean and Cas. They first offered the pillow to Dean and he took Cas’ ring. He let it roll over his fingers for a second and he gently took Cas’ hand. He slowly put the ring over Cas’ ring finger and he let the ring glide on it. After this, he gave Cas a little squeeze and Gabriel and Sam offered the second ring to Cas. Cas slowly took it and wiped the little bit of dust off it. He then took Dean’s hand and gently put the beautiful ring on his finger. When the ring was on Dean’s finger, Cas stroked Dean’s hand with his thumb. They looked up and their eyes were overflowing with love.

Charlie coughed again – maybe she’d gotten a cold – and she spoke the famous words:

‘I now pronounce you two married. To seal this marriage, you may now kiss each other.’

Cas and Dean leaned in and their lips gently touched.

**_‘Cas! I love you, okay? I love you!’_ **

Cas felt the world spinning around him, it felt as if he was flying through time and space and… he suddenly reached solid ground. He fell down on the floor and looked around. He was in a dirty room, filled with… hospital beds? IV poles? He then noticed Dean. Dean was standing over him, a worried look written over his face. Cas tried to speak, but his mouth was too dry. ‘It was a Djinn. You were attacked by a Djinn, that’s why you were in the world that was filled with your deepest desires.’ Dean answered his unasked questions.

Cas stiffly, though determinedly, got up and as soon as he was standing, he grabbed Dean’s face. Dean stiffened, not knowing what to expect. Cas’ grip loosened and he slammed his lips into Dean’s. Dean melted into the kiss, but pulled back after a few seconds. ‘I _do_ love you, Cas.’ ‘I love you too, Dean.’


End file.
